In this hectic life we need to lift our spirits and a good laugh makes it all happen. To make our life a little easier, a little happier we need humorous quotes. Funny English quotes to make you smile and laugh are instant mood boosters. These one-liner hilarious quotes can bring a smile to your face on a boring workday, on a tired daily routine.
So get ready and enjoy our best collection of funny English quotes.
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Lazy Life Funny quotes
“Laziness is the mother of all inventions-just ask my remote control.”
“I live in a constant state of ‘I should be doing something else’.”
“Some people wake up motivated. I wake up….and that’s pretty much it.”
“I am not avoiding responsibilities, I’m on a mission to test gravity from the couch.”
“I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.”
“I bought a step counter, it just count my trips to the fridge.”
“I told my alarm clock we need to take a break. It’s just to clingy.”
Food and Diet Funny Quotes
“Cooling is just chemistry for hungry people with low patience.”
“I followed a diet but it did not follow me back, so we broke up.”
“I told my diet we needed space. It was just too restricting.”
“A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.”
“Exercise? I thought you said extra fries.”
Digital Life Humor
“Autocorrect is my worst enema. I mean enemy.”
“Why does life come with no instructions, but IKEA furniture does?”
“I told my computer I needed a break, and now it would not stop sending me beach photos.”
“WI-FI went down for five minutes, so I had to talk to my family. They seem nice.”
“I finally realized people are prisoners of their phones… that’s why it’s called a ‘cell’ phone.”
“I am on a low-budget vacation-its called ‘staying home and yelling at slow WI-FI.”
Smart and Witty Quotes
“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.”
“Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.”
“I’m not urging, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
“I talk to myself because I need expert advice.”
“If sarcasm burned calories, I’d be supermodel by now.”
Adulting Funny Quotes
“Cleaning your house while the kids are still growing is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos.”
“Why do I have to wake up every day? I didn’t even sign up for this adult package.”
“I clean when I’m stressed. So if you show up and house is spotless, run.”
“I drink coffee because adulting is hard and naps are frowned upon.”
“Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet-nobody really knows how.”
Random Life Observation Funny Quotes
“Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing its only Wednesday.”
“Mirror: you look tired. Me: Thanks, I was not planning on sleeping ever again.”
“The road to success is always under construction-and I left my GPS at home.”
“I used to be cool. I got a full-time job and a favorite grocery store.”
“Some days I amaze myself. Other days I trip over my own shoelaces.”
“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.”
Self Humor Quotes
“Some people graduate with honors. I am just honored to graduate.”
“I started a band called 1023MB. We have not gotten a gig yet.”
“I’m not short, I’m concentrated awesome.”
“I don’t suffer from insanity- I enjoy every minute of it.”
Love And Marriage Humor
“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She hugged me.”
“They say love is blind. Marriage is a real eye-opener.”
“If Cinderella’s shoe fit perfectly, why did it fall off.”
Clever Quotes
“Why don’t scientist truest atoms? Because they make up everything.”
“You know you are getting old when your candles cost more than your cake.”
“The best part of working from home is pretending my pet is my boss.”
“Who needs horror movies when you have unread emails.”
“My body is temple-ancient, crumbling and full of snacks.”
Money Related Funny Quotes
“My wallet is like an onion. Opening it makes me cry.”
“I wish my life had background music so I could know when things are about to get dramatic.”
Everyday Struggle Quotes
“I don’t need a hair stylist. My pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.”
If you like Urdu Funny Quotes. Do not miss our collection of Best Short Urdu Funny Quotes For WhatsApp Status and Captions
Conclusion
In today’s world of sadness, even the slightest bit of joy is too much to feel and humor makes life feel a bit lighter. Funny English quotes are the best way to make our day beautiful. Save our website link and share these quotes with someone else to make their day a little brighter because it’s better to share joy and laugh.